[Review] Monster Absolutely Zero

Straight from the can:

People have been blowin’ up our inbox for years asking for a zero calorie Monster. We got it, but this ain’t soda pop, dude!

Making a zero calorie, zero sugar drink that’s good enough to earn the Monster M ain’t that easy.

Finally with a re-tooled energy blend, new sweetener system and hundres of failed flavors, we absolutely got it right!

Monster Absolutely Zero helps fight fatigue, improves mental performance and focus, motivates you to work (I mean play) harder, so generally you feel pretty damn good.

Zero calories, zero sugar, killer buzz… Absolutely Guaranteed!


I tore open my first can of Absolutely Zero and leaned in for a whiff. A delicious aroma that held some essence of the original green Monster as well as more than a few new attributes wafted over me. It is a very delicious aroma, though a bit heavy, that helped me find comfort in the drink. You see, going into this I was very skeptical. I usually don’t enjoy sugar free products on the count of the fact that artificial sweeteners are gross, but I really didn’t want to add another Monster product to my list of despised drinks, the first and only being Mixx’d. The aroma presented by Absolutely Zero gave me solace and comfort, helping me realize this might actually be a good drink.

A quick sip later, and I am happy to say Monster Absolutely Zero doesn’t suck. It’s got traces of the bold, full flavor of the original flavor, only much softer and a bit distracted. It is easy to tell the drink is entirely artificial in terms of sweetening, and drink is a bit different from the original in terms of texture, as well, feeling less sharp and crisp. There is also a bit of an aftertaste and it leaves a bit of a lubricated coating in your mouth. Still, it’s surprisingly delicious for a sugar free drink.

In terms of kick, Absolutely Zero is much weaker than what we’re used to getting from Monster. A “retooled” energy formula that doesn’t add any sugar or calories to the package means an energy formula that lacks a lot of good stuff. A quick peak at the back of the can, and you’ll find that this product incorporates just over half of what the standard Monster drink does. 1300mg instead of 2500 is quite a deficiency, but I guess it’s what had to be done to keep this thing diabetic and skinny friendly.

Monster Absolutely Zero comes packaged in a 16 oz 2-serving can, decorated with an awesome design, for the industry standard price of $1.99 per can.

Final Words:

Monster Absolutely Zero is a surprisingly solid product, one with a great aroma and flavor. The only thing worth really complaining about is that Zero houses 1200mg less energy blend than a regular Monster, delivering a kick that’s only half as strong. Still, if you’re diabetic or just some kind of health nut (douche bag), then you may want to look this stuff up. Zero calories and sugar means it’s much healthier than the original.


  • Smells great
  • Tastes surprisingly good
  • No sugar
  • No calories


  • Very artificial
  • Slight aftertaste
  • Leaves a slight starchy coating in your mouth
  • 1300mg of energy blend instead of 2500mg

Score: 7.0/10 (Average)

Aroma: 8.0/10
Taste: 8.0/10
Kick: 4.75/10
Value: 7.0/10

138 Comments to “[Review] Monster Absolutely Zero”

  1. By Vitimin d Orthomol, June 25, 2014 @ 2:03 PM

    Halal vitamins Orthomol Hardly I can believe that

  2. By green coffee and weight loss, June 25, 2014 @ 11:44 PM

    If some one desires expert view regarding running a blog afterward
    i recommend him/her to go to see this weblog, Keep up the nice job.

    Look into my homepage … green coffee and weight loss

  3. By boca raton social media marketing help, June 27, 2014 @ 1:59 AM

    Blog articles need not be extremely long, a few sentences is enough of an introduction just to post some photos, though occasional
    multi-paragraph posts help create a sense of depth.
    Automated posts and feeds don’t really count unless you also include real, personal messages and reply to
    what your followers are telling you. It’s good to keep in mind that folks will
    five occasions possible purchase a product if it was really helpful by someone they
    know. In the event you choose to work from home, are you looking for work where your pay is
    exclusively a result of the specific amount of work you do.
    However, if you want to scratch up some leads pretty fast, it’s effective.
    Success depends on the creative skill and the time spent rather than financial depth.
    It’s not a good idea to spam people in your news feed, and you
    can’t get a hundred new friends a day, unless you can convince
    them to look for you and add you. Lately, they
    came up with what they call Re-targeting, it is a very interesting subject for a later article.
    Psychologist and Doctors alike has also raised concern. Creating smart and personalized strategies that bring you the results you
    are looking for is our absolute favorite task to tackle.

    Feel free to surf to my web blog – boca raton social media marketing help

  4. By garcinia fruit health benefits, June 27, 2014 @ 10:09 PM

    Hydroxycut is a fat burner, a thermogenic drug that encourages weight loss
    by speeding up the metabolism. Alcohol results in blood sugar swings, which are tough on the system and cause the storage of belly
    fat. Together with the fitness program included in the product,
    the process of burning fat and losing weight will definitely be faster and more effective.
    Studies made on the fruit have shown the fact that people
    taking the supplement tend to lose two or three times more weight than those who do
    not take it. Benefits: Reduces cravings for sugar, controls your blood
    sugars, people with type 1 and type 2 diabetes are having positive
    benefits drinking this smooth gourmet green tea. CITES certification and product
    analysis can prove the authenticity of hoodia gordonii.
    It refers to an unusual property of an acid to reduce hunger without affecting any bodily
    system. The expression empty foods get thrown all over a good deal when people are talking about
    fast food, yet it’s really an inaccurate title.
    P57 is an active molecule that makes you feel full.
    Stress eating caused me to gain 70 pounds after successfully losing over 150 pounds.

    my web page … garcinia fruit health benefits

  5. By investors.com, June 28, 2014 @ 5:00 AM

    Avoid putting yourself in a situation where you feel out of control or completely uncomfortable for your first commercial real estate property investment but when you have the means, the price is right, the
    deal appears to be solid, and you feel you’re ready for the challenge, commercial real estate property profits are generally a significant motivation.
    When you wait for a single 30 million dollar house to drop in price, you
    could be missing out on numerous opportunities. Despite the variation in length most gulets have
    lodging for 8 to 14 guests in 4 to 7 cabins with
    double hotel like beds. When managing a real estate investment, you are essentially operating
    a home-based business. After nearly four successful years in their location at the former Century 25
    Theater, The Retro Dome (under the direction of Guggenheim Entertainment,
    Inc) was forced to close its doors when the property owner refused to renew
    the lease. Specifications and tenders in advance of works
    are not necessary to support the estimates or allowances included in budgets.
    Real property is a really good alternative to earn money,
    yet you have a good understanding of standard notions. The depreciation write off allowed by the IRS,
    and most states, shelters your new passive income.
    Investment in commercial properties especially holds charm for international investors due to a number of
    reasons. Investment in real estate, no matter what
    the venture, must be backed by the appropriate education, determination, and perspiration.

    Feel free to visit my web site – investors.com

  6. By easy money making ideas, June 29, 2014 @ 9:27 PM

    Even celebrity names can be monetized through Amazon as you can include your Amazon affiliate links
    to their work whether that be a movie or television show on DVD, or some of their records.

    The real problem is the work that affiliates have to do before
    they can start promoting the free e – Book that come across and like.
    Information on how to start a blog and make money should be useful.

  7. By Archive.ORG, July 1, 2014 @ 12:48 AM

    Amazing overcome! I will beginner simultaneously just like you amend your blog, just how could i personally signed up for your site web page? A bill assisted me a proper cope. I used to be slightly familiar in this a person’s sent out provided vivid obvious thought

  8. By Low Cost Hoodies, July 2, 2014 @ 12:05 AM

    Produce your very own inexpensive hoodies using our custom-made varsity apparel services.

  9. By Anibal, July 3, 2014 @ 3:45 AM

    My brother suggested I may like this web site. He was entirely right.
    This submit actually made my day. You can not imagine just how a lot time I
    had spent for this info! Thank you!

  10. By aarp.com, July 3, 2014 @ 2:54 PM

    Additionally, IPX provides the investor with a sales exit strategy that ensures a blended
    and greater yield from income and any appreciation captured in a future defined sales event.
    The diligent property manager goes room by room, item by item, from floor to ceiling, both indoors and out, and inspects, tests, photograghs, and documents the condition of the unit.
    A wide range of commercial leasing possibilities exist today.
    You shouldn’t pet on her though…it might reinforce that behavior.
    May a Landlord evict a Section 8 tenant from their
    Property. This method usually involves providing documented proof to the
    lender that the delinquent homeowner is in a hardship situation and can no
    longer afford to make payments on their mortgage loan. If you are like most people, the answer
    is the third option. Therefore, when they recognize an area that might contain hydrocarbons, they start negotiating with the property owner to lease the mineral right for exploration. 1031(a)-1(c)
    set forth the nature and character of the property, and not to its grade or
    quality. ” is simply by buying low and selling high or at least higher.

    my weblog: aarp.com

  11. By moving and storage phoenix az, July 4, 2014 @ 12:21 AM

    Be honest and accurate – When you fill out each quote you have to be
    as accurate as you can be. When scouting for a good distance moving company, you’ll find
    that some of them offer services that you simply either don’t
    require or don’t want. This will enable them to bargain well and save money.

    Feel free to surf to my website … moving and storage phoenix az

  12. By Fonceca, July 4, 2014 @ 1:37 PM

    We’re also a bunch associated with volunteers and beginning a new structure in our online community. Your web site provided us with tips to help works of art with. You have performed an impressive hobby along with each of our full area may be thankful to you.

  13. By celebrity wedding dresses cheap, July 5, 2014 @ 3:41 PM

    One function of the bustle and the hoopskirt
    was to make the waist look smaller and to enhance
    the bust. Resources may grace with your presence to related topics,
    such as grooming, fashion, and etiquette and not just fashion modeling alone.

    Fortunately, in this day and age of the Internet and the increasingly diverse global fashion market,
    you certainly don’t need to go all the way to Japan to get the very latest in Japanese fashion.

    My site :: celebrity wedding dresses cheap

  14. By designer handbag, July 6, 2014 @ 5:52 PM

    Hi there to every body, it’s my first visit of this web site;
    this web site includes remarkable and in fact excellent material in support of readers.

    For an incredible response please view this website; designer handbag

  15. By social media marketing pricing, July 7, 2014 @ 6:00 AM

    Once you gain reputation among the search engines the popularity
    of your website increases and this helps to gain search
    engine rankings for your websites. Stay tuned for my next training tutorial,
    or visit my website now at Kevin Thomas Marketing for instant access to all of the most
    current and advanced Internet Marketing Training available for
    Network Marketers. There are numerous possible ways increase the potentiality of any website through practical and advanced Search Engine
    Marketing processes. Nowadays, with the number and diversity of social media and networking
    sites available on the Internet, one of the best ways to promote your business, whatever
    it may be, is through the medium of social media marketing blogs.

    There are more people in a group — then on a profile
    page. com is the premier social network for the over-30 crowd,
    and is the leader in implementing successful engagement marketing campaigns.
    Once a marketing campaign has been implemented, businesses can easily keep track of the metrics that will then provide them
    with up-to-date and in-depth analysis of the different campaigns.
    Creating a great video for the web doesn’t require you to
    go to a film studio. If you wanted to try your luck on TV advertising, it would take you 14 years.

    There are many tools for posting photos of your artwork and writing
    out your thoughts on each piece.

    my blog … social media marketing pricing

  16. By laser hair growth treatments, July 7, 2014 @ 1:28 PM

    Profollica Best Treatment for Men improves hair body and suppleness and protect against harmful sun damage and itchy and scalp conditions.
    While some causes of hair loss might be associated with how
    you eat and what your physical health is, not all of them involve good diet and healthy habits.
    Autoimmune problems such as baldness and psoriasis are
    known to be exacerbated by stress; daytime fatigue and emotional distress are the
    most commonly reported symptoms of sleep deprivation.

    Check out my blog post: laser hair growth treatments

  17. By weight loss & dieting, July 8, 2014 @ 12:55 AM

    There are many proven and cost effective ways to fat loss.
    It is advisable to test before you expect your next period.
    Now, HCG diet has come through more than fifty years now and is considered as the most effective ways to lose body fat.

    HCG Diet Injections aid the body’s fat burning process in addition to
    helping the fat exit the body through the kidneys. Do your research, weigh the risks and benefits, and then decide whether the HCG diet
    is your best option or simply another danger to your health.
    In addition, adding 200-300 calories per day, especially in the form of lean protein for breakfast and a little more
    protein at the evening meal makes a lot of sense. Well what happens
    when you don’t lose that pound, what happens when you don’t lose anything for several days.

    The HCG hormone (human chorionic gonadotropin) supports a growing fetus by providing the resources needed for healthy development.
    This simple and effective emergency measure that nature has provided is what gets used
    in the HCG injections that the dieters use. HCG is sold over the Internet
    and also comes in a diluted form as a dietary supplement, which is combined with an exceptionally low calorie diet.

    My blog – weight loss & dieting

  18. By skin care, July 8, 2014 @ 7:40 PM

    What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this
    I’ve found It absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads.
    I am hoping to contribute & help different users like its aided me.

    Great job.

    Feel free to surf to my website – skin care

  19. By homepage, July 8, 2014 @ 9:41 PM

    Excellent post however I was wanting to know if you could write a
    litte more on this topic? I’d be very grateful if you
    could elaborate a little bit further. Appreciate it!

  20. By boca raton pink ray the plumber reviews, July 9, 2014 @ 11:07 PM

    Replacing the wax ring is a lot less difficult and expensive than replacing the toilet, but if you have wanted a new commode,
    this is your chance. Keeping your home plumbing running smoothly is not a
    difficult job. When you pull the toilet handle,
    the flapper rises and allows the water in the tank to empty into the toilet.

    Feel free to visit my page: boca raton pink ray the plumber reviews

  21. By muscle relief opiate-based, July 11, 2014 @ 6:24 AM

    Hi there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering
    which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting fed
    up of WordPress becausde I’ve had problems with hackers and
    I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.
    I woud be awesome if you could poiint mee in the direction of a good platform.

    Here is my blog post: muscle relief opiate-based

  22. By capillus272 chico's clothing for women, July 11, 2014 @ 7:10 PM

    Shock hair loss is generally caused by physician error when doing the treatment, so picking a
    physician who understands exactly what they are doing is essential.
    While some causes of hair loss might be associated with how you eat and what your physical health is, not all
    of them involve good diet and healthy habits. These products
    work the best in younger men who have only begun to lose their hair, and in those whose androgenetic alopecia is
    still in the early stages where hair is thinning but continuing to grow.

    my web site; capillus272 chico’s clothing for women

  23. By local moving companies for sale, July 12, 2014 @ 2:32 AM

    There are many offices of movers in the city of Hyderabad helping people
    on their home shifting and other kinds of relocation needs.

    Some companies will make an adjustable crankset for shorter or taller people too.
    Before the health insurance exchanges become fully operational, health insurance payers would need to have their business models, market strategies,
    IT systems and technologies, operational designs etc.

    Stop by my web page :: local moving companies for sale

  24. By keratin treatment for hair growth, July 14, 2014 @ 11:14 AM

    You would be right depending on your understanding of
    certain points. Vitamin E is particularly beneficial, promoting healing, good
    blood circulation, and fortified capillary walls. We don’t want to end up old and wrinkled because we spent every other day in a tanning booth.

    My homepage; keratin treatment for hair growth

  25. By Kwong, July 18, 2014 @ 5:22 AM

    It’s actually a very valuable part of information and facts. Now i’m delighted that you just embraced this convenient details with us. Remember to be all of us up-to-date in this way. Many thanks discussing.

  26. By Fast Muscle growth, July 19, 2014 @ 2:42 AM

    This post is really a pleasant one it assists new net
    viewers, who are wishing in favor of blogging.

    Feel free to visit my web-site :: Fast Muscle growth

  27. By ground lease accounting, July 19, 2014 @ 8:08 PM

    The more expensive ones may not let debris into the gutter but the debris will accumulate on top of the gutter guard to the point that after a
    couple of years the debris has to be physically removed.
    Real estate internet marketing ideas don’t have to be as big
    as creating Google to work, sometimes it just means making
    a change and seeing what happens. Hotel guests are currently paying for overnight
    parking or if you’re attending a function, but if you dine in their restaurant parking is validated.
    A buyer is legally allowed to meet & negotiate with the seller, send a
    personalized letter of introduction and make an official presentation. The question that will likely
    most affect your fiscal future is whether or
    not you should invest in gold. Foreign direct investment in US is growing continually.
    Attention to detail and the documentation of the findings are of utmost
    importance as well as the timeliness and scope
    of the report. It is here to stay because everyone will die at some point.
    When you buy a $30,000 car and drive it off the new car lot, throw out
    a $100 bill out the window every week as you drive.
    They had called him, and I don’t know what they said, but somehow
    they had convinced him, not that I was dangerous along with my
    dogs, but that they were the culprits.

    My weblog ground lease accounting

  28. By boca raton plumber, July 19, 2014 @ 8:19 PM

    A Los Gatos plumbing expert is a strategy to all of your plumbing Los Gatos problems.
    Most plumbing services are available around the clock; therefore, you can call them at any time of
    the day or night. When you pull the toilet handle, the flapper rises and allows the
    water in the tank to empty into the toilet.

    my web blog – boca raton plumber

  29. By skin care doctors pa edina mn, July 20, 2014 @ 10:55 AM

    I am really loving the theme/design of your blog.
    Do you ever run into any browser compatibility issues? A number
    off my blog visitors have complained about my
    website noot working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox.
    Do you have any solutions to help fix this

    Look at my site skin care doctors pa edina mn

  30. By hair tips, July 20, 2014 @ 8:38 PM

    So my goal was to prevent further thinning at the crown and baldness developing
    at the back. The reduction in girls starts at the front of the
    hairline and works its way insidiously toward the
    crown of the head. Such medical conditions include thyroid problems, skin disorders
    caused by infection and diseases like Alopecia areata that interfere with your body’s immune system.

    My weblog … hair tips

  31. By clarisonic skin care brush system, July 21, 2014 @ 10:39 PM

    If your skin is not properly moisturize, it will dry and age faster.
    The US National Library of Medicine warns against ingesting
    this petroleum product. This is a review of this acne skincare line from this popular
    Tawainese skincare company.

    My webpage clarisonic skin care brush system

  32. By http://www.topvitamine.com/doctors-best-en, July 22, 2014 @ 12:55 PM

    I like the valuable info you provide in your articles.
    I will bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently.

    I’m quite sure I’ll learn a lot of new stuff right
    here! Best of luck for the next!

    For the best informative review please view this page …

  33. By wedding reception planning, July 22, 2014 @ 1:53 PM

    We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.
    Your site provided us with valuable info to work on. You have done an impressive job and our entire community will be
    grateful to you.

  • Tweets that mention [Review] Monster Absolutely Zero | Caffeine Critic -- Topsy.com — September 4, 2010 @ 8:06 PM

  • [Review] Free Sin Vitality Drink: Greed (Lemon) | Caffeine Critic — September 19, 2010 @ 2:28 PM

  • sellingahouse.jimdo.com — June 9, 2014 @ 2:09 PM

  • Launch Corporate — July 1, 2014 @ 10:42 PM

  • Scott Tucker — July 6, 2014 @ 7:20 PM

  • RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

    Leave a Reply