[Review] Monster Absolutely Zero

Straight from the can:

People have been blowin’ up our inbox for years asking for a zero calorie Monster. We got it, but this ain’t soda pop, dude!

Making a zero calorie, zero sugar drink that’s good enough to earn the Monster M ain’t that easy.

Finally with a re-tooled energy blend, new sweetener system and hundres of failed flavors, we absolutely got it right!

Monster Absolutely Zero helps fight fatigue, improves mental performance and focus, motivates you to work (I mean play) harder, so generally you feel pretty damn good.

Zero calories, zero sugar, killer buzz… Absolutely Guaranteed!


I tore open my first can of Absolutely Zero and leaned in for a whiff. A delicious aroma that held some essence of the original green Monster as well as more than a few new attributes wafted over me. It is a very delicious aroma, though a bit heavy, that helped me find comfort in the drink. You see, going into this I was very skeptical. I usually don’t enjoy sugar free products on the count of the fact that artificial sweeteners are gross, but I really didn’t want to add another Monster product to my list of despised drinks, the first and only being Mixx’d. The aroma presented by Absolutely Zero gave me solace and comfort, helping me realize this might actually be a good drink.

A quick sip later, and I am happy to say Monster Absolutely Zero doesn’t suck. It’s got traces of the bold, full flavor of the original flavor, only much softer and a bit distracted. It is easy to tell the drink is entirely artificial in terms of sweetening, and drink is a bit different from the original in terms of texture, as well, feeling less sharp and crisp. There is also a bit of an aftertaste and it leaves a bit of a lubricated coating in your mouth. Still, it’s surprisingly delicious for a sugar free drink.

In terms of kick, Absolutely Zero is much weaker than what we’re used to getting from Monster. A “retooled” energy formula that doesn’t add any sugar or calories to the package means an energy formula that lacks a lot of good stuff. A quick peak at the back of the can, and you’ll find that this product incorporates just over half of what the standard Monster drink does. 1300mg instead of 2500 is quite a deficiency, but I guess it’s what had to be done to keep this thing diabetic and skinny friendly.

Monster Absolutely Zero comes packaged in a 16 oz 2-serving can, decorated with an awesome design, for the industry standard price of $1.99 per can.

Final Words:

Monster Absolutely Zero is a surprisingly solid product, one with a great aroma and flavor. The only thing worth really complaining about is that Zero houses 1200mg less energy blend than a regular Monster, delivering a kick that’s only half as strong. Still, if you’re diabetic or just some kind of health nut (douche bag), then you may want to look this stuff up. Zero calories and sugar means it’s much healthier than the original.


  • Smells great
  • Tastes surprisingly good
  • No sugar
  • No calories


  • Very artificial
  • Slight aftertaste
  • Leaves a slight starchy coating in your mouth
  • 1300mg of energy blend instead of 2500mg

Score: 7.0/10 (Average)

Aroma: 8.0/10
Taste: 8.0/10
Kick: 4.75/10
Value: 7.0/10

68 Comments to “[Review] Monster Absolutely Zero”

  1. By Marie, April 11, 2014 @ 6:26 PM

    It is the only asset which can withstand the test of the
    time for centuries. in the gold market and want gold only to make
    money or save for that rainy day, you. Adding precious metals to
    your investment portfolio is an excellent plan.

  2. By Soon, April 16, 2014 @ 3:52 AM

    Good day! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog.
    Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I
    can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking
    about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any
    ideas or suggestions? Many thanks

  3. By options binaires, April 16, 2014 @ 9:33 PM

    This is a topic that’s near to my heart… Cheers!
    Exactly where are your contact details though?

  4. By Catty, April 16, 2014 @ 11:38 PM

    Really useful publish. Thanks for discussion save it as favorite.

  5. By Pokemon X And Y Emulator Pc, April 19, 2014 @ 5:39 AM

    I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also pay a
    quick visit this weblog on regular basis to take updated from latest gossip.

  6. By Colon CLeanse COmplete And Garcinia Wonder, April 19, 2014 @ 1:24 PM

    I for all time emailed this web site post page to all my associates, for the reason
    that if like to read it afterward my links will too.

    Have a look at my blog: Colon CLeanse COmplete And Garcinia Wonder

  7. By carbon fibre bike frames for sale, April 19, 2014 @ 4:35 PM

    I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great.
    I do not know who you are but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you are not
    already ;) Cheers!

  8. By where to buy goji berry, April 19, 2014 @ 8:22 PM

    of course like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on several of your posts.
    Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to tell the truth nevertheless I
    will definitely come again again.

    Here is my webpage … where to buy goji berry

  9. By free tenant screening, April 22, 2014 @ 12:06 AM

    Hello, i reaad your blog from time to time
    and i own a similar one and i was jut curious if you get a lot of spam feedback?
    If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything yyou can advise?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any assistance is very much appreciated.

    my homepage :: free tenant screening

  10. By e liquid flavors, April 22, 2014 @ 12:10 AM

    Really ƿowerful ѡebpage mate! One which will assist many, I aam

    my website e liquid flavors

  11. By free tenant screening, April 22, 2014 @ 12:21 AM

    This kind of good article. I’m an artist as well (printmaker) and want
    to discover views and understanding like this ovtaining a voice on the web.

    I’ll visit often!

  12. By http://www.rentersspot.net, April 22, 2014 @ 1:22 PM

    I truly love your site.. Great coloprs & theme.
    Did youu develop this web ssite yourself? Please replyy back as I’m hoping to create
    my own site and want to find out where you got this feom or exactly what the theme is called.
    Thank you!

    Review my page :: http://www.rentersspot.net

  13. By tenant screening, April 23, 2014 @ 2:53 AM

    It’s perfect timme to make some plans for the future and it’s time tto be happy.
    I have learn this put up and
    if I mmay I wish to counsel you few fascinating things or tips.

    Perhaps you ccan write subsequent articles regarding this article.

    I want to read even
    more issues abou it!

    My webpage :: tenant screening

  14. By stable, April 24, 2014 @ 5:00 AM

    Merely need to declare your own article can be as surprising. The understanding on your own distribute is definitely interesting and that i might you might be an authority for this topic. Okay with your approval ok, i’ll take hold of ones give food to to maintain kept up to date along with imminent write-up. Thanks a lot thousands of along with you need to keep up to date the rewarding operate.

  15. By regal ecigs, April 24, 2014 @ 11:51 AM

    Nice post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I
    am inspired! Very helpful info specifically the remaining part :
    ) I maintain such information a lot. I was looking for this particular
    info for a very lengthy time. Thank you and good luck.

    my webpage :: regal ecigs

  16. By How To Get Free Rp For Lol, April 24, 2014 @ 5:09 PM

    Nice blog here! Also your web site loads up fast!
    What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your
    host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Here is my page :: How To Get Free Rp For Lol

  • Tweets that mention [Review] Monster Absolutely Zero | Caffeine Critic -- Topsy.com — September 4, 2010 @ 8:06 PM

  • [Review] Free Sin Vitality Drink: Greed (Lemon) | Caffeine Critic — September 19, 2010 @ 2:28 PM

  • RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

    Leave a Reply