[Review] Monster Absolutely Zero

Straight from the can:

People have been blowin’ up our inbox for years asking for a zero calorie Monster. We got it, but this ain’t soda pop, dude!

Making a zero calorie, zero sugar drink that’s good enough to earn the Monster M ain’t that easy.

Finally with a re-tooled energy blend, new sweetener system and hundres of failed flavors, we absolutely got it right!

Monster Absolutely Zero helps fight fatigue, improves mental performance and focus, motivates you to work (I mean play) harder, so generally you feel pretty damn good.

Zero calories, zero sugar, killer buzz… Absolutely Guaranteed!

Review:

I tore open my first can of Absolutely Zero and leaned in for a whiff. A delicious aroma that held some essence of the original green Monster as well as more than a few new attributes wafted over me. It is a very delicious aroma, though a bit heavy, that helped me find comfort in the drink. You see, going into this I was very skeptical. I usually don’t enjoy sugar free products on the count of the fact that artificial sweeteners are gross, but I really didn’t want to add another Monster product to my list of despised drinks, the first and only being Mixx’d. The aroma presented by Absolutely Zero gave me solace and comfort, helping me realize this might actually be a good drink.

A quick sip later, and I am happy to say Monster Absolutely Zero doesn’t suck. It’s got traces of the bold, full flavor of the original flavor, only much softer and a bit distracted. It is easy to tell the drink is entirely artificial in terms of sweetening, and drink is a bit different from the original in terms of texture, as well, feeling less sharp and crisp. There is also a bit of an aftertaste and it leaves a bit of a lubricated coating in your mouth. Still, it’s surprisingly delicious for a sugar free drink.

In terms of kick, Absolutely Zero is much weaker than what we’re used to getting from Monster. A “retooled” energy formula that doesn’t add any sugar or calories to the package means an energy formula that lacks a lot of good stuff. A quick peak at the back of the can, and you’ll find that this product incorporates just over half of what the standard Monster drink does. 1300mg instead of 2500 is quite a deficiency, but I guess it’s what had to be done to keep this thing diabetic and skinny friendly.

Monster Absolutely Zero comes packaged in a 16 oz 2-serving can, decorated with an awesome design, for the industry standard price of $1.99 per can.

Final Words:

Monster Absolutely Zero is a surprisingly solid product, one with a great aroma and flavor. The only thing worth really complaining about is that Zero houses 1200mg less energy blend than a regular Monster, delivering a kick that’s only half as strong. Still, if you’re diabetic or just some kind of health nut (douche bag), then you may want to look this stuff up. Zero calories and sugar means it’s much healthier than the original.

Pros

  • Smells great
  • Tastes surprisingly good
  • No sugar
  • No calories

Cons

  • Very artificial
  • Slight aftertaste
  • Leaves a slight starchy coating in your mouth
  • 1300mg of energy blend instead of 2500mg

Score: 7.0/10 (Average)

Aroma: 8.0/10
Taste: 8.0/10
Kick: 4.75/10
Value: 7.0/10

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