[Review] Monster Absolutely Zero

Straight from the can:

People have been blowin’ up our inbox for years asking for a zero calorie Monster. We got it, but this ain’t soda pop, dude!

Making a zero calorie, zero sugar drink that’s good enough to earn the Monster M ain’t that easy.

Finally with a re-tooled energy blend, new sweetener system and hundres of failed flavors, we absolutely got it right!

Monster Absolutely Zero helps fight fatigue, improves mental performance and focus, motivates you to work (I mean play) harder, so generally you feel pretty damn good.

Zero calories, zero sugar, killer buzz… Absolutely Guaranteed!

Review:

I tore open my first can of Absolutely Zero and leaned in for a whiff. A delicious aroma that held some essence of the original green Monster as well as more than a few new attributes wafted over me. It is a very delicious aroma, though a bit heavy, that helped me find comfort in the drink. You see, going into this I was very skeptical. I usually don’t enjoy sugar free products on the count of the fact that artificial sweeteners are gross, but I really didn’t want to add another Monster product to my list of despised drinks, the first and only being Mixx’d. The aroma presented by Absolutely Zero gave me solace and comfort, helping me realize this might actually be a good drink.

A quick sip later, and I am happy to say Monster Absolutely Zero doesn’t suck. It’s got traces of the bold, full flavor of the original flavor, only much softer and a bit distracted. It is easy to tell the drink is entirely artificial in terms of sweetening, and drink is a bit different from the original in terms of texture, as well, feeling less sharp and crisp. There is also a bit of an aftertaste and it leaves a bit of a lubricated coating in your mouth. Still, it’s surprisingly delicious for a sugar free drink.

In terms of kick, Absolutely Zero is much weaker than what we’re used to getting from Monster. A “retooled” energy formula that doesn’t add any sugar or calories to the package means an energy formula that lacks a lot of good stuff. A quick peak at the back of the can, and you’ll find that this product incorporates just over half of what the standard Monster drink does. 1300mg instead of 2500 is quite a deficiency, but I guess it’s what had to be done to keep this thing diabetic and skinny friendly.

Monster Absolutely Zero comes packaged in a 16 oz 2-serving can, decorated with an awesome design, for the industry standard price of $1.99 per can.

Final Words:

Monster Absolutely Zero is a surprisingly solid product, one with a great aroma and flavor. The only thing worth really complaining about is that Zero houses 1200mg less energy blend than a regular Monster, delivering a kick that’s only half as strong. Still, if you’re diabetic or just some kind of health nut (douche bag), then you may want to look this stuff up. Zero calories and sugar means it’s much healthier than the original.

Pros

  • Smells great
  • Tastes surprisingly good
  • No sugar
  • No calories

Cons

  • Very artificial
  • Slight aftertaste
  • Leaves a slight starchy coating in your mouth
  • 1300mg of energy blend instead of 2500mg

Score: 7.0/10 (Average)

Aroma: 8.0/10
Taste: 8.0/10
Kick: 4.75/10
Value: 7.0/10

68 Comments to “[Review] Monster Absolutely Zero”

  1. By Nick, September 4, 2010 @ 8:58 PM

    It’s the best Laxative I’ve ever had!! Terrible drink!

  2. By Daniel Reese, September 29, 2010 @ 10:26 PM

    I think this will be an interesting drink to try. we’ll see how it is.

  3. By Jhonn, November 25, 2010 @ 6:04 AM

    works for me.. I don’t know about u guys, makes me not sleep at work.

  4. By Matt, December 9, 2010 @ 11:04 AM

    This has an amazing taste for a “diet” drink. Currently looking around to see what the hidden down side is, (come on, there is always something.)
    But as far as taste goes, this is by far the best zero cal/sugar/carb/fat drink that I know of.

  5. By Maddie, December 27, 2010 @ 7:22 PM

    This drink is amazing, I had one last night. I wish I bought more, I am going to the store to pick up a few more in a few minutes actually. Like Matt said, I am also trying to find the hidden down side of this magical drink. I originally have depression, and fatigue, but after I drank this..I felt great! I felt like a new person. This is my new favorite drink, thanks guys.

  6. By kyle, March 14, 2011 @ 9:55 PM

    i’m diabetic but i’m still gonna stick to the good ol’ low carb blue can. it’s basicly the same thing with calories and more kick.

  7. By Lauren, March 16, 2011 @ 12:46 AM

    Late nights editing photo shoots leave me totally exhausted, and my usual go-to is original monster, but liquid calories aren’t super awesome.
    I don’t usually like the artificial sweetener flavor, but I can tolerate it. Absolutely Zero is freaking amazing. The flavor is super good. The gentle deviation (coconut finish? I can’t tell) from the original while maintaining the same base flavor keeps me interested.

    I’m a fan.

  8. By wlsigmore, July 23, 2011 @ 3:36 PM

    Its actually sweetened with Erythritol which is a sugar alcohol that is naturally dereived from plants. Kind if like stevia.

    http://altmedicine.about.com/od/herbsupplementguide/a/erythritol.htm

  9. By Brandon, August 4, 2011 @ 4:24 PM

    >> By wlsigmore, July 23, 2011 @ 3:36 PM

    Its actually sweetened with Erythritol which is a sugar alcohol that is naturally dereived from plants. Kind if like stevia.

    Yeah, but it also contains Sucralose, which was stumbled upon as an artificial sweetener while trying to create a new pesticide. Contains chlorine and other stuff you’d never want to drink.

    That said, and with how minimal an amount is in each can – I drink the stuff and and I find it pretty decent for a 0 cal 0 sugar drink.

  10. By YOUR THE DOUCH BAG, January 11, 2012 @ 3:58 PM

    Umm your the douch bag, and learn how to spell !

  11. By Made me LOL, January 25, 2012 @ 2:13 PM

    To: “Your the douch bag”- LMAO

    Your spelling AND your grammer suck! It IS spelled DOUCHE, and it’s “you’re” not “your”. Idiot.

  12. By Tom, April 19, 2012 @ 1:11 PM

    Who you are calling douche bag?

    I am sick and tired when ppl. ripping of the health system making us –healthy people– pay more, and more… without our money you would be in serious problem my friend so have a little respect!

  13. By malibugal, June 30, 2012 @ 2:12 PM

    Tastes like bubbly cough syrup, but now I’m hooked!!! Zero calories!!!

  14. By malibugal, June 30, 2012 @ 2:13 PM

    Oh and… don’t drink it past 5 pm, if you want to sleep at night…

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