[Review] Louisville Cardinals Red Bird Energy Drink

Energy drink brands licensed by sports teams or athletes almost always suck.

Really.

The closest thing I’ve had to an energy drink endorsed by a pro sports athlete was Amp Tradin’ Paint, and that was licensed to the Dale Earnhardt Jr. name, and he’s not an athlete. He’s a race car driver. And anyone who thinks Nascar drivers are athletes, or that Nascar driving could ever be considered a sport is an idiot. That’s like saying cheerleading or women’s basketball are sports.

Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh yes, of course. I don’t even know what sport the Louisville Cardinals are associated with. Football or basketball, one of the two. I know baseball already has a Cardinals team from St. Louis, so I don’t imagine there is room in the league for two. But maybe there is.

I honestly don’t care.

Review:

I was pretty excited to try it at first, mainly out of curiosity, but my desire was impacted by the drink’s aroma as well. It’s a sweet, crisp perfume that smells very good. Very citric with a nice balance of sweet and sour. It is entirely artificial of course, and is obviously not flavored to resemble anything at all, but it’s a decent odor none the less.

Surprisingly, it actually tastes pretty decent. The flavor is a tad bit on the salty side, with a sourness and sweetness working together to try and cover it up, but the combination doesn’t quite hide it entirely. There’s no bitterness or medicinal afterburn, which is certainly a plus, and the drink has a nice viscous texture that flows really well without leaving any gritty residue in your mouth. It’s far from great — I’m not even sure I’d call it good, quite — but it’s surprisingly drinkable for a drink licensed on a sports team.

Unfortunately, the kick is quite lackluster. About halfway through the can I could feel the effects setting in, and the kick reached its relatively weak peak shortly after I finished the drink, slowly tapering off over a course of two hours or so. The boost didn’t offer much in terms of pleasantness, as I experienced a slight case of the jitters and a weak crash after the kick has subsided.

Louisville Cardinals Red Bird Energy Drink comes in what I’m assuming is a collectible 16 oz can for $1.99. I found my can at Big Lots for $0.70.

Final Words:

I don’t recommend Red Birds energy drink to anyone who doesn’t simply want it to sit it on their sports shelf, or whatever sports fans use to show off their collection of sports stuff. I don’t like sports, so I don’t have a shelf for sports things. Regardless, Red Bird energy drink isn’t bad at all. In fact, for being what it is, it’s pretty acceptable. Still, the weak kick gave me jitters and a crash, and that’s not worth taking in a merely decent drink at all.

Score: 6.0/10 (Decent)

Aroma: 7.0/10
Taste: 7.0/10
Kick: 4.0/10
Value: 7.0/10

14 Comments to “[Review] Louisville Cardinals Red Bird Energy Drink”

  1. By Rick, November 3, 2010 @ 1:29 PM

    That cardinal is the University of Louisville mascot. What it’s doing at Big Lots I don’t know – nobody in Louisville seems aware of it. Weird.

  2. By jdoug353, November 4, 2010 @ 10:41 AM

    Red Birds has no ties to the University of Louisville other than of course the bird happens to be red. This drink could not have been licensed by the school.

  3. By caffeinecriticcritic, December 11, 2010 @ 12:02 PM

    You sir are an idiot. One, your sexcist insults thrown at women sports are bull shit. And as well as that, auto racing is harder than it seems. You try getting in a car and drive 180 mph into a turn in a 190 degree car thats cramped as hell, and feeling 500 lbs of force at every turn. Don’t hate on a sport you cant do.

  4. By Zac Pritcher, December 11, 2010 @ 1:20 PM

    And you, my friend, are absolutely ignorant.

    This site is meant to do a few things. Provide reviews for energy products, give a score for energy products, and place emphasis on a sense of humor and ludicrous, comedic writing that is often times disgusting or offensive.

    You seem to have confused Caffeine Critic with some sort of website that gives a shit about being professional. Our reviews and scores are accurate and honest, and that’s all we care about.

  5. By caffeinecriticcritic, December 12, 2010 @ 12:00 PM

    yes, I understand that, but never insult something unless you can do it your self lol, i learned that the hardway, you will make a statement one day and have lots of contraversy

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