[Review] Joe Buzz

Joe Buzz is a really neat product. It is a small snus pouch designed to be placed between your gum and lip, left in for 30 minutes, and then discarded once the high amount of caffeine has been absorbed through your oral membrane. Of course, I was immediately reminded of the Revved Up Energy Dip I reviewed forever ago, but thankfully there is no tobacco in Joe Buzz; it is instead made from real coffee. The concept itself is great and provides the opportunity for discreet, effective caffeine ingestion without having to slam back an energy drink or suffer through that shitty Amp gum. Concept alone will only carry a product so far, and thankfully Joe Buzz is able to deliver an adequate effect.

The pouches are available in three different flavors: Grape, Watermelon, and Mint Chocolate.

Joe Buzz Coffee

Grape:

Intrigued at the proposition of a grape-flavored coffee pouch, I tore open the resealable package and stuck my nose cautiously inside. Perhaps not surprisingly, I was greeted with an initially confusing but not entirely unpleasant aroma. The coffee and grape odors were mixed in a manner that reminded me of my little league baseball days, when Big League Chew and my stimulant-dependent grandmother’s yellowed dentures could always be found in my duffle bag. I placed the packet awkwardly inside my mouth and let it mellow. The flavor wasn’t necessarily bad, yet like the aroma it was very strange. The grape was prominent over the the coffee’s bitterness, but wasn’t quite strong enough to cover it up completely. Instead the flavors aggressively grinded upon one another atop the dance floor that is my tongue.

Watermelon:

The next day, I decided to dip into the Watermelon flavor. The experience was essentially the same; the aroma was reminiscent of fruit-flavored gum with a coffee undertone. But before I could pop it into my mouth, a curious co-worker, who happens to be black, axed me what I had. I briefly explained the product, and as soon as I mentioned the word “watermelon” he stole the pouch and stuffed it in his cheek. About five minutes later he spat it in the trash, punched me in the stomach, and stole my shoes. Needless to say, he’s no longer with the company. But I digress. The watermelon flavor really doesn’t work too well here. It blends with the coffee in an unpleasant fashion, presenting the user with an artificially-flavored bitterness in their saliva that pools on the palate, just begging to be spat out.

Mint Chocolate:

Easily the best of the three flavors, the mint chocolate variation is a truly enjoyable product. The aromatic factors of the cool mint, sweet chocolate, and rich coffee come together like pigs in a blanket — where “pigs” refers to your mom and “blanket” refers to MY blanket. Sucka. At any rate, the flavor is fantastic and truly enjoyable, and never once was my mouth confused about the biracial relationship of fruit and coffee. Instead I was treated to a thoroughly sweet, satisfyingly succulent product with a refreshing mint flavor that accompanies the delightfully bitter bite of the real coffee inside of the pouch. If you’re looking to try just one variant of Joe Buzz, make it Mint Chocolate.

Final Words:

The innovative delivery method is efficient, the price is right, the kick is sustained, and the experience isn’t ruined by jitters or a depressive crash. Though two of the flavors — Grape and Watermelon — weren’t quite as pleasant as I would have liked, the Mint Chocolate Joe Buzz caffeinated pouch is easily among the best oral energy supplements on the market. I would really like to see the company add a few more flavors to their lineup; ones more compatible with the coffee flavor. Dulce de leche and vanilla bean immediately pop into mind.

Pros

  • Efficient delivery
  • Sustained energy with no crash
  • Mint Chocolate

Cons

  • Grape and Watermelon aren’t ideal pairings with coffee
  • Pouches are a bit too big

Scores:

Grape: 7.0
Watermelon: 4.5
Mint Chocolate: 9.0 

Hit up Joe Buzz’s site to learn more and purchase your own.

Other reviews:

edjunkie

1 Comment to “[Review] Joe Buzz”

  1. By Jon, June 30, 2013 @ 2:35 AM

    Good informative review. That being said it is hard to tell if you are being a racist prick or just snarky with some of your comments. If you had just published a straight review that would have been great. But tired jokes about blacks and watermelon and biracial confusion did nothing but make you sound like an ignorant douche. You did your review and the product a disservice.

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