Caffeine Critic

[Review] Headshot Mega Energy Shot (Apple Slam)

I’ve had this shot for a few months now, sitting on top of my mini fridge and gathering dust. I came across it earlier today while I was doing a bit of Spring Cleaning, and it fell out from under a pile of old porno magazines and Taco Bell wrappers. I was up late last night and was feeling a bit drowsy, so I wiped off the hand lotion and Fire Sauce that the tomb of trash it had been encased within for God knows how long and figured it couldn’t do any harm. I really needed the boost.

I really hope this thing doesn’t have an expiration date.

Review:

I twisted the thick plastic cap off of the environmentally irresponsibly bulky plastic tube to take a whiff of the — OH MY GOD! Jesus, that’s strong! Wow. … Hold on… phew. Woah. Shit. … Ahem. Sorry about that, but this stuff is powerful. Maybe it is expired after all! The entirely artificial aroma is two levels above overpowering, but that’s not to say it smells bad. In fact, the scent is a bit like Green Apple bubble gum, only not as sour. Still, I like my shots to go down nice and clean, and if Apple Slam smells this potent, I can only imagine what I’m in for in terms of the taste.

Bottoms up.

Hm, not bad. The liquid is surprisingly viscous and easy to drink, making it a bit more bearable that Headshot is a FOUR OUNCE energy shot. That’s twice the size of a normal shot, which, if this stuff was atrocious, would’ve been an awful thing to suffer through. Thankfully, it’s certainly not terrible. I wouldn’t go as far as to call it great, but it’s good.

My little brother, who is 11, just came in the room. Let’s see what he thinks about it. After I handed him the shot, he looked at it hesitantly before smelling it to make sure I wasn’t tricking him. He made a face. “It smells bad!” Surprisingly, he actually drank some of it. “It tastes good, but it smells bad. Tell them that. Put that in there.” So I did. I told you that. He says it smells bad, but it tastes good.

I was really surprised with the kick, as well. In all honesty, I was expecting very little in terms of boost, but alas, here I am feeling a great buzz. However, be warned: this is not the boost you may expect from an energy shot. This is more of a condensed energy drink, and the kick hits hard and only lasts a few hours before leaving you with a slight crash. I feel that point is very important, as many shot users are accustomed to products like 5 Hour Energy, that simply lift you up and keep you feeling good for a decent amount of time. This shot doesn’t do that. It’s like chugging a Full Throttle in five seconds. It kicks hard, and it will leave you with a slight crash.

In terms of value, Headshot can be a mixed bag. I’ve seen it for as high as $6.99 at a Casey’s General Store, for $4.99 at Walmart, and even as low as $1.00 at my local Big Lots. I’m assuming the bulk of people reading this will find their shot at Walmart, so we’ll go with that. Five bucks for a four ounce shot seems fair enough, especially when sat next to the two ounce competition. It’s hardly a bargain, but it’s also far from being a complete rip off.

Final Words:

Headshot is a surprisingly good energy shot. It may be painfully overpowering in terms of aroma, but the sweet, candy-like flavor and insane potency help to make up for that deficiency, even if it can be a bit expensive. It likely won’t appeal to the clean cut 5 Hour Energy fans out there, as the kick it delivers hits hard and leaves a small crash, but if you’re looking for a quick blast of energy without having to gulp down a 16 oz Monster, you should give this a shot.

Buy Headshot Apple Slam

Pros

• Tastes like candy
• Kicks hard

Cons

• Smells too powerful
• Can be very expensive

Score: 7.1/10 (Good)

Aroma: 5.0/10
Taste: 7.75/10
Kick: 8.5/10
Value: 7.0/10