Aug
28
2010
Is it possible to put into any less than a measly paragraph or two the importance of canned coffee and the impact it has had on our modern world? No, it isn’t.
Canned coffees have helped the advancement of education, provided extra funding to cancer research, helped prevent preteen pregnancies among American girls who have unspeakable daddy issues, brought entire opposing nations to their knees, and helped Brad Pitt and his gang of rag tag soldiers find and successfully kill Adolf Hitler during World War II. What’s that? You’ve never seen Inglorious Basterds? Shame on you, go watch it now.
Actually, none of that is true.
Aug
15
2010
Drinking liquid nitrogen would be a stupid idea.
Drinking Liquid Nitro? Now that’s completely different. This little-known gem of an energy drink isn’t a deadly chemical that freezes things on contact, but instead an energy supplement chock full of all sorts of herbs. I’ve heard of it before, but never ran across it until I was in Big Lots the other day, performing my weekly search for great deals on wasabi peas, cans of sardines, and unique energy drinks.
Aug
8
2010
A while back I reviewed a product called Crunk Stix. I didn’t like them. I thought there was a decent amount of potential behind them, but energy powders are very similar to energy shots before they were perfected. The idea is awesome: super portable and convenient energy in a similar form factor to Pixi Stix. The problem? Awful aftertaste and bitterness plague what would otherwise be a revolutionary energy product.
Anyway, along with the Stix, Crunk sent me a case full of different flavors of their drink. I’ve been slowly working my way through it, tasting each flavor. I’m about to go through my last can of the original flavor, making this the perfect time to review it. I’ve experienced it several times, so I’ve got a pretty solid grasp of how it performs.
Readers, I ask you this simply because I am an incompetent moron who can’t think of original jokes: Is it time to get “Crunk?”
Aug
2
2010
Energy sodas aren’t exactly the fastest growing phenomenon in the drink industry, but that doesn’t keep the big beverage companies, who deem them as more accessible than regular energy drinks, from trying them out. Coke has Vault, Pepsi has Pepsi Max, and now Dr. Pepper/Seven-Up offer the latest take on the energy soda in the form of Sunkist Solar Fusion.
Solar Fusion is a Tropical Mandarin flavored soda with added caffeine and B vitamins. Sunkist is most well-known for their orange soda, which is absolutely delicious. However, not every Sunkist drink is worth drinking. Their Peach, Grape and Diet Lemonade flavors are all pretty awful, but they’ve also got Cherry Limeade, Pineapple and Strawberry which are pretty solid drink. How does Solar Fusion stack up to the rest of the Sunkist family?
Jul
30
2010
I’ve ran into a few really gross teas lately, one of which was so gross I even awarded it a perfect 0 — the first time I’ve ever done that for any product. Sure that kind of scared me from wanting to try this, but this is AriZona, the people who are famous for their canned teas.
This actually isn’t even the first energy drink I’ve had from AriZona. A while back I reviewed their All City NRG energy drink, noting lackluster aroma and flavor but praising the fantastic energy boost. I was expecting something similar to this in terms of quality and attributes, maybe a bit more focused on the green tea flavor though. Regardless, I’ve never had a truly horrible product from AriZona so I wasn’t worried too much.
Jul
30
2010
Jul
27
2010
About two months ago I posted my review for the Mixed Berry flavor of THiNQ, and now I’m finally back with a long overdue critique for Sparkling Citricity. Though in my defense I have been slowly polishing off the entire case sent to me by the kind folks at THiNQ HQ, taking mental notes on if the drink has been having any lasting effects over a long period of time. If you’ll recall in my Mixed Berry review, I said that regular intake provided sustained energy, but that was only over the course of a little more than a week. I wanted to know if it kept improving my energy level beyond that.
Straight from the bottle:
THiNQ is a deliciously refreshing, all-natural beverage intelligently designed to work with your body on a cellular level to awaken your mind, energize your body, and exhilarate your spirit. It’s smart, wholesome, and contains no artificial anything! It possesses all the amazing goodness of a health drink but with the revitalizing lift of an energy drink. THiNQ …it’s pure genius.
Jul
26
2010
I enjoy tea, and I enjoy the idea of organic products. It’s weird, because I usually don’t enjoy energy teas (Save for the Slap Energy Drink products and a few others) and I generally don’t like organic energy drinks (except Syzmo’s Prickly Pear flavor and maybe some others). So why am I taking a chance on Guru’s Green Tea Honey-Lemon Iced Tea? Because I want to make sure you don’t have to.
It’s one of the biggest cons of running a review site such as this, and I’ve had to put up with several awful drinks. I mean awful drinks. Like, incomparable to anything else awful. But on the bright side, I’ve also discovered several drinks that I wouldn’t have otherwise known existed. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those times. Guru’s Iced Tea ranks as one of the worst drinks I’ve ever encountered.
Jul
23
2010
Straight from the can:
How low can you go?
Ounce for ounce Java Monster already has way less fat and calories than a “Mega Bucks” bottled coffee. So why make Lo-Ball? Because our fearless leader is a health fanatic who counts calories like they’re $100 dollar bills.
Art v.s. Science
Seriously, making a low calorie coffee + energy drink that tastes good and works, ain’t that easy. Java Monster Lo-Ball sets a new standard for taste and effectiveness. While no Mona Lisa, Lo-Ball is truly a work of art with a little science thrown in for good measure.
Jul
21
2010
Vacation in a Bottle, or ViB for short, is the exact opposite of what I usually review on this site. Much like the recently critiqued Drank, ViB is an anti-energy drink — a beverage that induces lax and calm feelings as opposed to bursts of excess energy. While it is true, as you all surely know, that I love caffeine and the awesome stimulating effects, I also purely adore relaxation beverages. They are an awesome invention with an outstanding effect when they work properly.
Straight from the bottle:
ViB’n Be Happy.
Sure, we’d all love to have our toes in the sand right now. But somebody came up with the idea of “9 to 5.” Well, it’s time to calm your mind and simply unwind. Breathe. Let it all go. Drink in the relaxation and happiness with V.i.B. [vacation in a bottle].
Put some distance between you and all that other stuff with our Pomegranate Berry flavor. Take your mind to a perfect paradise and your body to a peaceful, happy place.
So, open up. Drink. Chill. Be Happy.
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